"You have just lost somebody you love very much. You will survive. Keep reading. This will be a very hard road... a life you never wanted. You may not have the motivation to go forward...but, you will because you must. Roll your eyes...but keep reading. I know where you are... I’ve been there. These are some things I wish I had known...I’ll keep it simple, because you are quick to cry and take offense...and don’t want to listen and you’re a mess. You really are. I told you I’ve been there". (4 months into my grief) Hell began with the death of my son. His sudden and traumatic drowning exposed his father, brothers, and sisters to unspeakable trauma. I returned home to find ambulances and emergency vehicles filling the street... and so I ran out of the car, out of my shoes, out of my mind. I have been running ever since. Looking for answers, cures, relief from the most frightening emotional pain a mother can endure. This book compiles the raw, honest, and gripping journals I maintained as we fought to save ourselves. Grief and death were new to me and I was shocked and frightened by their power. As a teacher, I felt compelled to share my experiences, my fears, and my suffering so that others could understand. If you have lost someone you love, I offer you company. If you love someone who has lost, I offer you advice. If you think dying brings death, I bring you hope. Dying doesn"t end life. Dying ends in life... a life eternal.This is my tale of holding hope, finding faith,and chasing Charlie.