This is the diary of Jennifer James. It contains: One Heroine: Jennifer James, burdened by brains, struggling to release her Inner Babe One High School: London Road Comprehensive, a no-hope English school in a no-hope English town One Prize: A scholarship to the elite St. Willibald"s College [Jennifer"s idea of Paradise] offered to the winner of a tacky reality TV show, Down The Bog and . . . A Thousand Complications: Like Jocasta, the crazy feminist mother; Tallulah, the blond rival from hell; Marcus, the guy with green eyes; and above all, the actual real reality that Jennifer"s chances of winning are less than Mega-Zero. . . .