Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope) tells the press a tragic tale just before his scheduled execution for murder. He wanted nothing more than to be a private detective like his charismatic office partner Sam McCloud (Alan Ladd in a cameo) whom he impersonates when dazzlingly beautiful Baroness Carlotta Montey (Dorothy Lamour) walks in to seek help. She tells an intriguing tale of greed and subterfuge revolving around Baron Montay (Frank Puglia) whose relationship with her seems to range from uncle to husband. At the center of an elaborate plot appears to be a geological map that is later revealed to lead to an invaluable source of raw uranium. In on the game are the bewilderingly multifaceted Asian Kismet (Peter Lorre) , Major Simon Montague (Charles Dingle) and bouncer Willie (Lon Chaney). The stage is set for an ingenious and hilariously confused scheme. Given to believe that the beautiful Carlotta is in fact a raving schizophrenic, Ronnie tries to edge out of the commission to safeguard the map and protect her, but matters have gone beyond his volition. His bumbling efforts to do his job take both him and the Baroness to a mental asylum, the aristocratic dining room of the Poulet D or and Washington s Pilgrim Hotel. The way is littered with detective action of the kind that would have Raymond Chandler spinning in his grave. Ronnie s efforts to untangle the situation do little but complicate it further. He is philosophically resigned to getting gassed to death for a murder he didn t commit. End of the story? Find out for yourself, if you haven t died laughing by then....