Who is Bill Cooney? Is he a poet, a madman, a former candidate for the priesthood, a son of one of the most prosperous and well-liked men in the tiny town of Kilbeggan, Ireland, an apple thief, a man spared three times from certain death, a gadfly, a fearless Saxon warrior, a student of medicine at Trinity College, a truck driver, a store clerk, an insurance inspector, a night watchman, a businessman, a writer of hundreds of unpublished puns, a husband, a father, a grandfather, an animal lover? Yes, and he's also the author of this memoir.