Barney Willow"s life couldn"t get any worse. He"s weedy, with sticky-out ears. Horrible Gavin Needle loves tormenting him. And evil headteacher Miss Whipmire seems determined to make Barney"s existence a complete misery! Worst of all, Dad has been missing for almost a year - and there"s no sign of him ever coming home.Barney just wants to escape. To find another life. To be a cat, for example. A quiet, lazy cat. Things would be so much easier - wouldn"t they? A darkly funny and adventurous tale from multi-award-winning author Matt Haig.