This is the book dads across the world have been waiting for all their lives, whether they're on the verge of parenthood, or already knee-deep in kids. They just didn't know they were waiting.Letting you in on the inside secrets that the 'real' parenting books don't dare tell you, this book will arm you with all the tips, cheats and excuses you're going to need to seem like a vaguely adequate father.Find out..If you have chosen the right mother for your childrenSimple ways to avoid being assaulted during childbirthWhy babies shouldn't watch Schindler's ListHow to change a nappy in 17 easy stagesCoping strategies if your son becomes a nerdThe greatest lies to tell your kidsWhether it's possible to make your child less stupidTell-tale signs your teenager has become a terroristUsing a series of scientifically questionable quizzes, flowcharts, checklists and celebrity advice, this award-worthy book will be quite possibly the most important thing you ever read, and will ensure that no one ever thinks you're a terrible father again. Except possibly your kids, but they don't count. "A witty, must-read book for both men on the verge of becoming a dad or knee deep in kids already. It will have both mums and dads laughing out loud." - Familiesonline.co.uk"Rude, crude and perfect for all dads to be... Hilarious!" - Practical Parenting"Comedic genius - the best parenting book I've read. Bypass the yawnsville factual book...